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Oceana: I
was trekking in the Himalayas. One night, my sister and I
went to a backpacker place near Ghorepani, and Icarus was there. Our
eyes sort of met across the room. We didn't speak, but he
heard my sister and I discussing how we were going to trek to the
top of a mountain called Poon Hill - to see the sunrise. The
next morning, who did we happen to find but Icarus stomping up
the hill toward us? We've actually got a photo of that sunrise
on our altar.
Later
that day, he just appeared beside me on the trail. I was
very shy, a children's librarian from Victoria, and he was this
vivacious American. Our paces matched, so we trekked together
for a few weeks.
At
one point, we went to this beautiful Buddhist spot, and he said, "How
about we do a ritual to the four directions?" In the
ceremony he created - you threw a rock to each direction and called
out something you wanted in your life. Icarus said, " I
want a life long partner." And it was like a thunderbolt
went through me. I just knew. And I mean, I was too
scared to even speak to him. But I knew we were going to
spend our lives together.
I
admired so many things about him. I still have this little
notepad where I wrote down all these things he said when we first
met: his 10 favourite movies, his 10 favourite books. When I got
back to Australia I searched out the books, watched all the movies. And
then, on my birthday, the phone rang and it was his voice singing, "I
found my thrill, up on Poon Hill."
When
he came out to Melbourne to visit me, I went to pick him up at
Tullamarine Airport. We came out into the car park, and we
just moved together into an embrace. We hugged for an hour. We
didn't speak. We were near the taxi ramp, and one taxi driver
picked up a fare, went to Glen Waverley or somewhere, came back
and we were still there hugging. I remember him shouting
out: 'Hey, mate, I think you better get a room.'
I hadn't done any Tantra when I met Icarus. When we went to my
first workshop, I was so scared. I'd always said I wouldn't do
a workshop, because I thought there'd be nudity -anything might happen! But
I went, and it just totally changed my life. I just became Oceana.
We're
the ultimate Tantric couple. We're very passionate with each
other: our sexual chemistry is mesmerizing. Icarus is very
romantic. I fall asleep and wake up in his arms every day. He's
very supportive. I'm a bit on the health-nut side: just recently
I did a I 0-day juice fast. And he would never choose to
do that, but he did it with me. And he hates washing the
juicer.
He's
never at a loss for words. We're really put on the spot with
our work: we're asked anything sexually. I'll take a deep
breath, but he'll have an answer with depth right there.
When
we run our workshops, we do an honouring ceremony to each other. We
never know what we're going to say, we just speak from the heart. Two
weeks ago, we did a workshop in Byron Bay, and Icarus started crying. It
was the first time in six years he's cried. He said, 'It's
so good between us, I just can't imagine dying and not being with
you.'
Ground
control: the couple flying
high in 1992 and (top) today. |
Icarus: It
seems like a spectacular meeting, but it wasn't like fireworks
went off, exactly.
The full moon came up over the Himalayas.
I had a harmonica and I was playing music to the moonrise. She
really noticed me.
And then I saw her across the fire, and our eyes met for a moment.
I thought she was cute. |
The
next morning, I was hoping to meet her. After the sunrise,
I got organized to go trekking. I hadn't really thought about
it, I guess, I just figured I'd catch up with her down the trail. Later
in the day, she and her sister walked by, and about 20 minutes
later it kind of slowly dawned on me, 'Gosh, it's a big country
out there; I might never see her again.' So I started jogging,
uphill, with a cold and Giardia, to find her - 45 minutes, running
uphill, through little villages with the children and chickens
running after me and the old women stopping their spinning. Who's
in a hurry in Nepal? Then I saw her up ahead on the trail,
so I slowed down and got my breath back, and then just strode up
really casually, saying, 'Oh, here you are again.'
We
were in some hot springs a few days after we met, and I wanted
to give her a foot massage. And she was too shy. But
I liked her simplicity. I remember asking her what she
liked to do, and she had a list of things, and they were all those
sort of unintellectual things I would never have thought of. One
was. 'I like picnics.' I thought that was great.
After
Nepal, we started this correspondence. I'm not a letter writer:
you're either here in front of me. or you didn't exist. But
these letters were actually quite a turn-on. I'd get really
hot for her just reading them. And we got to know each other. It
was like an old-fashioned courtship.
When
I proposed to her; I was in the phone box of a restaurant called
the Apple Tree Restaurant, in Taos, New Mexico. I was in
the park across the street and I sat there for a few hours, and
it hit me: this is what I want in life. And I walked across
the street and into the restaurant and called her.
Before
we got married, I went to the public library and researched the
climates in Australia. The best place on the east coast,
I decided, was Byron Bay. I had never heard of it, but when
I asked her friends about it, they all said, 'Oh yes, that's the
place for you, mate.' So we went up camping for three weeks
and we loved it.
I
have no fear of death: I've had two near-death experiences, one
of which she saved me from. I was doing a rebirthing session
and, as I went out through the crown chakra, I saw the light. That's
the last thing I remember. She was sitting next to me, holding
the space, and says I went grey and my eyes rolled back in my head. She
panicked and called to the therapist across the room, and I heard
her voice. And I didn't want to leave her. And now,
damn it, I'm stuck. I realize I'm really attached to this
world, which I've tried to make it a spiritual goal not to be.
I
had a mystical experience before I met Oceana. A friend did
a past-life regression session with me as the subject - sort of
like hypnosis. I don't believe in airy-fairy things, but
I thought it would be fun and maybe interesting. I was amazed. I
remembered four past lives, and in one of them I was Icarus. I
flew too close to the sun and my wings melted, and I fell into
the ocean - Oceana. But I went back home and I had two children,
and I was married to Oceana. Not the physical manifestation,
the spiritual/emotional one.
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