TRANSFORM
YOUR
LOVE LIFE - WITH TANTRA
by
Oceana & Icarus
Most
of us desire to have a satisfying and fulfilling sexual
relationship. However, a great sex life is an elusive
pursuit. For one thing, it depends on having an intimate
partnership at all levels of our being. Sustaining a
great relationship is the highest mountain to climb on
this planet. It is not unusual that most people settle
for far less than their ideal, but still claim to have
a great sex life. What accounts for this paradox? Virtually
everyone in our society, to a greater or lesser degree,
has shame surrounding the subject of sex.
No wonder that
we are fearful and shamed. Although society has a great interest
in sexuality (just look at the covers of magazines), actually
being present with the topic is met with jokes or giggles
or, even worse, just silence. It seems to be too frightening
or challenging of a topic to be let out of the cage or dark
closet. We expect ourselves to know everything there is to
know about sex, despite the fact that we have had no training
whatsoever (other than on-the-job experience)! It is hard
to have a healthy attitude when much of that experience is
awkward, intolerant, inadequate, and provides little in the
way of interpersonal communication or accurate feedback.
It allows no possibility of taking advantage of the accumulated
wisdom of the ages.
Our
work is to bring this important part of our beings out into
the light.
To surround it with love, worshiping the divine aspect of
our partner and seeing them as a mirror of ourselves. Thus,
Tantra invokes spirituality. Tantric consciousness requires
being totally present in the moment. This is a discipline
that requires techniques and practice in order to be successful.
Tantra is a science, in the sense that these practices can
be repeated with consistent results. If you do A, B, C...
etc., you will get to X, Y, and Z. The breath is the bridge
or "key" to this realm, so breathing practices are essential
in all systems of Yoga and meditation, and especially in
Tantric Kriya Yoga.
Another essential
ingredient of Tantra is opening of the heart. Women's single
biggest complaint about men in relationships and sex is that
their hearts are not open. In fact, all of the energy centers
(chakras) in the body must be open in order for the maximum
amount of sexual (kundalini or life force) energy to flow
throughout the body. Once again, this requires techniques,
practice and discipline for maximum effectiveness and is
rarely a spontaneous happening - as we prefer to imagine.
The benefits
of these practices are pervasive and multi-dimensional. Tantra
is accurately credited with being a means of rejuvenation.
A fabulous sex/love life is tremendously healing for the
mind, body and soul. It radiates love to your entire family.
It is healing for society in helping to prevent aggression,
crime, war, and the breakdown of the nuclear family. It is
healing for the world in the realization that we are all
one, and must care for each other and the entire planet.
Most
Western sexual experiences are episodes of building tension
and releasing
it, hopefully for both partners, in as short a time period
as possible. One of the "secrets" of Tantra is the practice
of alternating stimulation with relaxation in extended periods
of lovemaking. The organization of our workshops gives a
model of this principle by example. Much more energy can
flow in the body when we are relaxed. This is one of the
reasons that a committed long-term relationship is desirable
in a Tantric context. This kind of lovemaking brings one
to an incredible intimacy through a relationship of trust
and commitment.
A
central part of our Tantric lineage is instruction of the
Cosmic
Cobra Breath, an ancient technique that, for safety and
responsibility, has never been written and is conveyed only
by personal initiation. It is a powerful tool used for transmuting
the sexual energy into a loving spiritual meditation. It
has the important side effect of preventing premature ejaculation
easily comfortably, and surely. This allows the energy to
build to higher and higher levels. Tantric love is about
raising the energies in the bodies and the intentions of
the beings to a higher consciousness, thereby achieving an
ego less state where there are no longer lovers, only Love.
The culmination of these practices is a tremendously satisfying
sexual and spiritual life and, believe it or not, the relatively
rapid, easy and joyful attainment of ecstasy, enlightenment,
or what we call "Riding the Wave of Bliss" - a hypersensitive
state of being which goes on for hours, beyond time or words,
where every nerve in the body is vibrating at a higher frequency
and the entire body and consciousness is in a state of suspended
orgasm!
Tantra:
Not Just A Theory
It's
Like Eating a Juicy Mango Everyday By
Oceana and Icarus
Practicing
Tantra can be like eating a juicy mango everyday.
Tantra
can be Riding the Wave of Bliss with your Beloved through the land
of Eternity.
Tantra
is the way to keep a passionate, loving relationship alive until the
end of your days (and nights).
Tantra is "finally coming home".
It all sounds
so simple, but definitely, not easy. By learning only the
sexual and physical techniques of Tantra, you will create
only temptation, not manifestation. To create a world class
relationship is like climbing the tallest mountain on earth,
far higher than Everest. We are the first generation to attempt
conscious relationships. As pioneers, we don't have role
models. Our models were of dysfunctional and co-dependent
relationships between men and women.
Relationship,
if you think about it, is definitely not for cowards. It
requires a conscious, committed monogamous relationship to
even make it to the Base Camp. It requires a willingness
to "look at your own stuff" and take responsibility for your
own behaviour. It requires learning a multitude of relationship
and communication skills to navigate the unfamiliar environment.
If you don't, your mango could go off, or even go out of
season! It demands being in your higher self and always seeing
the divine in your partner in order to survive the high altitudes.
It requires good advice and support from experienced guides.
Being
a Warrior in personal growth is not enough. Your core issues
and childhood wounds will never be totally healed by any
amount of self-love. They can only be completely healed with
the person who really counts. The one you have chosen to
push your buttons big time: your Beloved.
Tantra definitely
is not some abstract philosophy or airy-fairy new age fad.
It's relatively easy to be a saint alone on the top of a
mountain (or in a cave). But just get into relationship and
see what happens. Unlike satsang or meditation, where you
can sit in silence and have beautiful thoughts, Tantra requires
action. Tantra requires mucking around in relationship (getting
out there and actually creating a blissful reality).
What are you
going to do when God is sitting right in front of you staring
deep into your eyes? There's no escaping. There's no place
to hide. There's no putting it off until you die and go to
heaven. Intellectualising is a waste of breath at high altitudes.
There's no ignoring her/him. S/he knows all of your faults,
even better than you do. And in spite of them, s/he still
loves you. And then, you may make love together ascending
on your merged energies to a place beyond words, beyond the
physical bodies, beyond the notions of time and space, and
beyond Beyond.
Relationship
can be an exciting path of awakening. For us, our relationship is our
spiritual path.
Not
Tonight Dear
by
Oceana & Icarus
We
find it amazing to
reflect on the situation that couples often find themselves
in, of avoiding making love. The actual act of making
love is such a pleasurable activity, why are there 365
excuses not to make love in a year?
If you find this happening in your relationship,
a simple solution is to consciously
plan a time to make love. Even to go as far as both getting out your diaries
and setting a time. Some examples:
1) "OK, next Sunday lets have a totally tantric day." Make a list
of activities perhaps starting with a walk together on the beach or in the mountains,
brunch, exchange a massage, set a sacred space in your bedroom with incense,
fresh flowers, music. Do some soul gazing (eye contact), honouring the
love you have for each other. Very slowly moving into a caress…..
2) "Let's have a 3 hour date in our bedroom next Thursday evening from
7:30pm onwards." Put the answering machine on and be sure the kids
are taken care of. Have a shower together, then dress in sarongs,
sit in front of some candles, incense burning, and soft music playing. Do
some soul gazing. Synchronize your breathing by doing some Tantric
breathing practices together, such as the Heart-Genital Circuit or Prana Mudra
(found in the book Jewel In the Lotus). Give each other some verbal
appreciations. Slowly move into an embrace….
There are so many things you can do together in lovemaking to bring
in a sense
of fun and playfulness.
An important issue to be aware of is that both people in a relationship
need
to take responsibility for lovemaking. If you feel yourself closing down
sexually, talk about it. If one person is always the initiator, and they
are constantly being rejected, they too will close down.
Communication skills are necessary or the energy in the relationship
will stop
flowing. Perhaps, go to a café and discuss what problems are being experienced
in lovemaking. This takes courage and sensitivity. Be prepared
to listen to your partner and take what they are saying into your heart rather
than
criticising, blaming or judging them.
"Oceana's incredible warmth, sensitivity, love, understanding,
gentle encouragement and cajoling helped me through fear
and reluctance to know myself as a woman. A life changing
experience into joy and to the discovery that I really
can ask for and have what I want in my life." -
Eve
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